Earlier I talked about creating roles for yourself in every area of your life, then using these roles to organize the outcomes you desire rather than simply living your life around a to-do list. I never realized how powerful roles can be until I started using them consistently. The human mind has the ability to adopt a new identity in the blink of an eye. This can be observed in a person who is said to have "multiple personality disorder". The effects of MPD aren't just psychological. It's been said by Dr. Bernie Siegel, who studied MPD, that marks on patients would disappear and reappear depending on the identity they thought they were. Even patients eye color would change right before his very eyes! To a lesser degree, whether we know it or not, we all have multiple personalities. Our personalities change drastically depending on who we are with, and where we are. We wouldn't talk to our grandma the same way we'd talk to our best friend. We wouldn't talk to a police officer the same way we talk to our mother. The transition from personality to personality for most people is unconscious. And unlike MPD where values and beliefs change radically from personality to personality, most people maintain the value system at their core and just change their style of interaction. So why am I telling you all of this? Because I want you to first become aware of the power in the roles you play every day unconsciously. Do you like the roles you play in every area of your life? If you had to label them what would they be? "Disgruntled Employee?", "Jealous Spouse? Cherished Friend?". When you become conscious of the roles you are playing you can change them INSTANTLY. Just decide on a new role for yourself and all of the things you would have to do in order to fit the description of that new role. Sounds too easy? It is - once you're conscious of the process! And make sure you use words for each role that really excite you to make it permanent. What's interesting is that I now find myself thinking about the roles I've adopted throughout the day. I ask myself, "What role am I in right now?" As I write this blog for example if I ask myself that question I find myself in my "Effective Communicator" role. In my head I know exactly what an Effective Communicator must do to get his message across. So two simple words actually spawn an entire list of traits and emotions that go along with it. When I know that's my identity I run with it. This may require a little conscious attention in the beginning but soon the process goes back to the unconscious level again and the new roles become a regular part of your life! Other examples in my life are "Cherished Friend" and "Family Embracer." Now when I find myself in situations that might have normally been considered a drain on my time - like settling a family dispute or losing interest in a lengthy conversation with a friend, I remember my roles and I act accordingly. I encourage you to stop and think about all of the roles you play in your life right now. Decide if you like the words that are used to describe you in each of these roles. Add new roles that excite you and inspire you. Roles should cover every area of your life. I have about 10 in my own life. In any given minute of the day I'm playing one of my roles. I've seen such amazing results almost overnight - try it and see for yourself! |
