DK: Okay, so enough with philosophies. Lets get down to brass tacks. When you gonna bring me someone to love?

Do I look like a Yenta?

DK: How the hell should I know what you look like? Wait. Thats not true. God is a computer screen! Matchdotcom comes up on a computer screen. So matchdotcom is God. So be yourself and help me out willya?

I see youve studied logic.

DK: Over the internet.

So much for the information revolution.

DK: Whos the straight man here? I lose track sometimes.

Why would you need me to bring you someone? Youre the expert.

DK: Have you ever seen an expert in anything be expert in relationships, too? Better yet, have you ever made an expert like that?

Touche!

DK: So what do you say?

I say youre surrounded by people to love.

DK: Yeah, sure, but you know what Im talking aboutthe real Magilla, like the One!

You forgot (salaciously).

DK: What'?

How about (lasciviously)?

DK: Terrific. I draw a God with a bigger vocabulary than I!

And better grammar, too. Even punctuation. Forget it Drew. The expression on your face is gone now. New moment! Just like every other man, as soon as you begin to think, whatever excitement youre experiencing evaporates.

DK: Hey! Wait a minuteGotcha! Youre a woman, arent you?

When its called for.

DK: Hmmactually, thats kind of terrifying now I think of it. That kind of power I wouldnt know what to do with.

Power, you say?

DK: Yes, I do. I have to say that so I can set you up for your next punchline, dont I?

Kudos to you.

DK: What?

Forget it. Tell me what your experience is of the power of women.

DK: Rejectionwait one minute! You know, once I start this, I dont get to hit delete and get out of revealing myself. Im not crazy about that to tell you the truth.

Youre revealing Everyman, Drew.

DK: Thats going to get me killed!

It happens, but since youre someone elses dream, it wont slow you down.

DK: You know what? YOU are not the source of my solace these days.

Thats good to know. Im not meant to be that, and neither is she. Rejection you said?

DK: Holy Molyyou got us right back to the subject! I thought I could slide.

Unfortunately, this article distribution service recommends about 800 words at a time and weve passed the halfway mark. Answer the question.

DK: Wellits like Im not even on their radar screens. Im invisible. Like, in the meat market Im the parsley.

To make this as quick and as painless as possible, Drew, you simply dont let yourself be seen for who you are.

DK: Are you serious? Every time I do something like that, I mean really show who I am, the women run the other wayafter they take the rest of my money out of my wallet!

So youre wanting something more sustainable and dont believe you have what it takes to attract that?

DK: Pretty much.

Luckily, things have been put together around here so that the species continues, and even you arent out of that equation, Drew.

DK: Just a minute. Youre saying that relationships exist to continue the species? Period.

Pull back a minute and look at all the relationships around you. I mean, really look. What do you see?

DK: I see tons of couples who seem to have no reason to be together, being together for some reason. And youre saying because of that, the world goes on?

Precisely! I have to deal out as many potential matches for everyone as it will take to keep the ball rolling. That takes a period of coming together followed by a period of nurturing what comes out of that period of coming together. Length of time varies, but its always there to be had.

DK: That feels a bit encouraging, when you put it that way!

Thank you. Attraction must come in every shape or form, and none of it has to make sense because the important thingthe real important thing is that people hook up. Youre not out of that equation, Drew. No one is. The only thing that prevents you from having a relationship is your belief that youre not worthy. If you dont feel like you have what it takes, youll get nothing. But if you understand that the mechanism is in place that you must be a person who can attract someone, there will be someone there for you.

DK: Thats outrageous. Whatever you got, somebodys looking for it!

Spread the Word!