You know the story. You met your soul-mate and he was oozing with charm and appeal. He supported you emotionally, psychologically, and helped do the dishes, too. He was interested in your life - your mind, soul, and body! So you married him, knowing that paradise was only a ceremony away.

Oops. Now he comes home too exhausted to deal with anything more than a sitcom. Meanwhile, your day has been full of child-chatter, chores, and a myriad of thankless tasks that you're hoping, maybe today, you'll be appreciated for doing! Yikes. He's still there on the couch. Not a "thank you" to be heard.

Storming through dinner preparation, you rattle pots and slam cabinets. You complain through your children with statements like, "I don't know when dinner will be ready. Why don't you ask His Majesty when he would like to be served?"

Even though he pretends not to hear, he does. Even though you hope your children are too young to catch your sarcasm, they aren't. By the time your family sits down to eat, there's enough tension in the air to smother the whole lot of you.

You also know how this whole wretched pattern started. Like it or not, you're partly to blame. Remember thinking that paradise was a ceremony away? Your illusion set you up for disappointment. There is no one person, not even a soul-mate, who can be everything that you need them to be.

Your other-half did not let up on his end of the marriage bargain. Your husband cannot be someone he isn't, as much as he loves you. He wants to support you, he wants to be your knight in shining armormost of all, he wants to live up to your expectations. He really wants to give you 'paradise.'

Now, he is feeling defeated. Tuning out with reruns on television is better than thinking about how he let you down - especially when he doesn't have a clue as to how your feelings for him changed. That's what it feels like to him too, you know. Those painful feelings of being unappreciated for who he is and what he has to offer wrench his heart apart.

Think About This:

Who else did you rely on before you married your husband? There were probably more people in the picture then than there are now. Motherhood, wonderful as it is, can also lead to isolation. The more isolated you become, the more you look to your husband for support. It's only natural, but it's a recipe for disaster.

This week, shift your perspective. Write out exactly what seems to be missing from your marriage. Beside each item, list a specific person (or type of person) who would best fill that need, leaving your husband's name off of the list entirely.

If sex is missing from your life, resist the urge to list Johnny Depp as the person best able to fulfill that need. Look at a lagging sex life as a symptom that can be cleared up after your emotional and psychological needs have been met.

Look at your list long and hard. Make sure the individuals you have listed really can support you as you would like. You made one mistake forcing your husband to fill the bill - don't make the same mistake with your friends.

Don't be surprised if your list includes more "types of people" than actual individuals who can help. Motherhood's isolation is very common, but it's not required. Start reaching out to fellow moms in your community or online. Put yourself out there, and the people you need will show. Eventually, you'll find great ways to reconnect your Self to people who want to see you shine!